What’s with all these fucking quizzes these days? While standing in line at the grocery store the other day I glanced over at the magazine rack, full of woman’s rags. Just about every cover had something like, “Is he ready for marriage? Take our quiz!” or “Is your boyfriend cheating on you? Take our quizlet and find out!”

It’s not just magazines, it’s all over the Internet too. I can hardly surf these days without getting bombarded with these retarded things. Are people so fucking clueless that they need a “quizlet” to tell them what to do?

Is your cutie a cheapskate? Take this quiz!

For Valentine’s Day your boyfriend bought you:
(5 points) A diamond ring. Bling bling!
(4 points) blah blah
(3 points) (insert materialistic item here)
(2 points) blah
(1 point) a card
(0 points) nothing

If he scored 0-1 then it’s time to dump that loser and find someone who really loves you!

Jesus, what’s wrong with people? So the amount of money a guy spends on a girl is directly proportional to how much he loves her? I’m shocked, and fascinated at the same time.

I wonder if these dumb quizzes have broken up any happy couples? Maybe if they are stupid enough to be influenced by them they have no business dating? Take this quiz and find out!

Last night I slept great. I turned off the computer and got in bed with my new cell phone and my trusty P2-400 laptop. I relaxed and wrote for fun, and fell asleep around 1am.

Then it was 9:30am. I didn’t wake up once. Sweet baby jeebus that hasn’t happened in forever. I had a whole 90 minutes before my first class, so I took my time. I made some coffee and sat on my porch in the sun, and breathed in the fresh clean Chico morning air.

Now I’m sitting in a very comfortable chair at the cafe on campus. This coffee house is fantastic. The girls who work here are cute and funny. The coffe is always fresh. Today I got my favorite spot next to the huge bay windows overlooking Chico Creek and a grove of oak trees. From my vantage point I can see clear blue skies and a very swelled crik full of rain water.

I’ve been watching a squirrel unlike the others for the past 15 minutes while I sip my latte. This squirrel is by far the Tom Bissell of squirrels. He is sleeping in the sun on a branch overhanging the creek. The other squirrels are busy gathering nuts, scampering around, and on the lookout for danger. The Tom Bissell Squirrel cannot be bothered with such things. Today is a beautiful day and he’s going to take advantage of it, as well he should!

I’m wearing my chick-magnet shirt today. It’s a black t-shirt that reads “No, I will not fix your computer.” Girls love that. They can’t resist the power of the geek. They see me coming and they freeze, mesmerized by my powerful geek energy. There is no escaping.

I just saw a fish jump.

I paid $2.00 to download the theme song to Indiana Jones for my cell phone. My life is now complete.

I need more coffee…

Buh. I had a hard time sleeping last night. I turned off the computer and got in bed with the laptop at midnight. Then I worked on my website until 1am. For the next two hours I stared at the ceiling.

I hate that so much. I was exhausted and I could not sleep. I’ve struggled with this all my life. I’m such an insomniac. I guess I’m just a night owl.

I remember when I was a kid, we’d go to bed at night, and within minutes I could hear my sisters breathing change. They were already asleep. I would toss and turn forever, cursing them, wishing I could fall asleep that fast.

Even in boot camp I couldn’t sleep. They’d wake us up at 5am or earlier every day and run us ragged with marching, exercise, classes, more marching, cleaning, more exercise… by the time 8 o’clock rolled around I was exhausted. But I still couldn’t sleep.

The only time in my life that I have slept soundly was when I was out at sea.

The gentle side to side swaying the ship, the hum of the turbine engines, and the cool air vent right near my face put me out *SNAP* just like that. Now THAT part about the Navy I loved…

Even in very stormy weather I slept well. When we travelled in the open ocean, like from Hawaii to California or Hawaii to Japan, we would get some nasty weather. 40 foot swells would engulf the whole foc’sle of the ship (the front part) as we dipped and dove up one wave and down its backside. The whole ship would shudder and shake as it leapt above the waterline. And still I slept like a baby.

I miss the ocean. I miss the spray of the sea, the salty sea air, the wind in my face and the warmth of the sun. I’d spend my lunchtime on the fantail (the back part of the ship) and bask in the rays. Nothing but blue in all directions. Water so clear you could see at least 50 feet down. Sea lions and dolphins and sharks and whales were common. But I digress.

So I cut my last class today. I was so tired from lack of sleep I just couldn’t concentrate on anything. I didn’t want to take a nap, however much I desired, because then I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. So here I am, tired and crabby, and wasting time until midnight. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight either. Maybe I should just get drunk.

SIGH. Sometimes I kinda miss the Navy. I sure did sleep well back then.