“OK, I’m ready,” Yum announces, as she moves swiftly from one room to the other.

“Oh shit!” I think. I’m sitting on the couch in my old t-shirt and boxers. If Yum is ready to go, I’d better get dressed quickly.

Which I do, indeed.

One pair of shorts and some flipflops later I’m shoving my wallet and cellphone into my pockets and walking out the door with my keys.

Now outside, I turn to put my key in the door. Except… where is Yum?

I take a step inside and look around. I don’t see Yum. It was then that I heard it.

The sound of running water. And then the shower flowing.

What the fuck?

Perplexed, I step back inside to see what’s going on. I make my way to the bathroom and find that Yum is taking a shower.

Wait. Didn’t she just tell me she was ready?

Sigh. I should know better.

When Yum says that she’s ready what she REALLY means is that she’s ready to start THINKING about getting ready.

Yum might announce that she’s ready 3 different times in 30 minutes. None of these announcements actually mean that she’s ready to go. Each announcement of “I’m ready” is accompanied by a shower, getting dressed, and/or putting on makeup. But none of them actually mean that she’s ready to walk out the door.

On the other hand, when *I* say “I’m ready” it’s because I’m actually ready. I’ve showered, dressed, grabbed the essentials, put on my shoes, keys in hand. When I say “I’m ready”, I’m walking out the door.

Sadly, I’ve fallen for “I’m ready” many times. I’ll be standing outside the front door, keys in hand, personally actually ready to go, and I’ll hear the blow dryer in the other room.

So from now on, whenever Yum says “I’m ready” I’ll believe it when I see it. Until I see her walking out the door I’ll remain on the couch in my boxers, watching TV, and drinking a beer.

“OK, I’m ready!”

Uh huh. Sure, babe.