Back in November I crawled into my hole (my room, the bat cave).

The holidays were here and I did not want to celebrate. I did not want to be reminded of “stuff”. I didn’t want to think about it. I did not want to see that empty chair.

My mother’s birthday passed. Then Thanksgiving. Christmas. My birthday. And finally, New Years Eve.

All these events, for almost all of my life, I have spent with my mother and my family, or close to them. This year, of course, my mother wasn’t here. And I didn’t want to celebrate without her. So I crawled into my hole.

I think my intention was to pretend that it wasn’t really happening. That didn’t work too well. In fact, I think I made things worse by spending all that time alone. It hurt me, inside.

A wise friend suggested that instead of celebrating old traditions, without mom, to create new traditions instead. This, to me, seems a better choice. Definately better than spending two months alone in my room. I will try creating new traditions next year.

When you’re sad, or lonely, or depressed, have you ever bought something? You know, to try to numb the pain?

I bought an Xbox360 last week. I had my friends over on Friday night to drink beer and play Tiger Woods 2007. And on Sunday we played 9 holes at Mission Hills golf course, then had dinner at La Imperial’s (and then we came back to my place for more Tiger Woods 2007).

So I think the Xbox360 made me a bit happier. Although I suspect it’s because I’m spending more time with my buddies because of it!

So anyway… I’m out–I have emerged. The holidays are over and the weather has been beautiful here in Northern California. In fact, today it was 65 degrees without a cloud in the sky. It’s times like this that make me say, “I’m glad I live in California.”