I’ve been feeling a bit pissy lately. I’ve been snapping at friends. I’m not sleeping as well as I was just a few months ago. I’m always tired.

The job search is not going well at all. Every day I spruce up the resume for the particular position I’m applying for and send out a few. Cover letters are particularly trying, but I feel that I’m a pretty good writer, so that part isn’t so bad. The endless pages of the boring applications are what really get to me.

I’ve got that “I’m rotting here” feeling again. The same feeling I get after I’ve lived in a place for longer than six months. I don’t know what it is about me, but I really, really like to move. Most people hate it. They get all stressed out and complain endlessly, but not me. I love to move every six months or so. If I stay longer than that in place I get fidgety. I hate to come home. I hate to be in the apartment or room. I’ve been back in Hayward for almost six months now, and this is how I’m starting to feel.

I haven’t liked Hayward since my senior year of high school, when all I wanted to do was the fuck out of here. In my first year of the Navy I’d come home, sometimes reluctantly, and stay for a few days. It never felt the same, not like when I was a kid, when Hayward felt like home. Hayward hasn’t felt like home since I was 17.

I really need to quit my bitching, I’m starting to sound like a woman…