The Nucleus

“You’re the nucleus… you’re spinning around, out of control… what looks good to you, Tom? What looks good to you?”

It’s Sunday night, round about midnight. My cell phone rings. It’s Scott, and he’s liquored up.

If you know Scott, you know that he has a tendency to babble when he’s drunk. Try to get a word in edgewise, and he talks right over you. I’m in a good mood, so I decide to just run with it and see just how long he can go.

Two and a half hours later my cheeks hurt from smiling and my gut hurts from laughing so much. I was the only one laughing though, Scott was dead serious.

Sometime into the phone call I decide to start recording the conversation–I had to have proof of how hysterically hilarious the drunken ramblings of Scott is. My cell phone only records 60 second spurts, so I did the best I could.

Here are the top 4 recordings:

MP3 format
The Nucleus, part 1
The Nucleus, part 2
The Nucleus, part 3
The Nucleus, part 4

WAV format
The Nucleus, part 1
The Nucleus, part 2
The Nucleus, part 3
The Nucleus, part 4

3 replies on “The Nucleus”

  1. That is some funny shit!

    “Don’t get talent confused with the Nuclei”

    Now there is the mantra I have been searching for my whole life!

    “We see the shit. Dave has the shit, but he doesn’t see the shit”

    That is some complicated shit! I have to meet Scott. I think he could gather a David Koresh like following with millions making the pilgrimage to hear the wisdom that is the ‘Nuclean’ way.

    I am sure I am just nitpicking, but does a Nucleous spin?

    Thanks for the laugh.

  2. I’m picturing T-shirts with Scott’s head on the front, and the immortal phrase “Never mistake talent for the nuclei.”

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