As I sit down to write this I am drunk. Very, very drunk. I’m having trouble typing. I have to go back and correct my spelling and grammar quite often. I do the best I can.

I went out tonight very late. Kellie called me at quarter to midnight.

“We’re at Joe’s.”

“See you in ten minutes.”

I poppped in my contact lenses and threw some goop in my hair.

As I approached Joe’s I noticed the line was around the corner. The wait would be at least 20 minutes. What was I to do?

I looked around the corner to the back entrance. Yes, the door was open. OK. This will take some skill.

I walked up to the back door like I owned the place. I waltzed in, no hesitation, not making eye contact with the bouncer. I sauntered past him, not saying a word. Out of the corner of my eye I could see his mouth open, like he wanted to say something. Like, “Hey you can’t come…” And then his facial expression changed, as if to say “ahhh fuck it”.

It’s all about confidence.

So I’m in. I go straight to the bar and order a shot of the Captain and a bottle of the Silver Bullet. I see Kellie, and I make my way over to her and her friends.

“This is Paloma.”

“Nice to meet you. Can I call you Persimmon?”

Persimmon? Whatever. For some reason it’s easier for me to remember a name if I give them a nickname.

We hung out for a bit. Kellie introduced me to her other friends, all chickas. I thought for a moment, “I wish Dahi was around to help me out. I can’t possibly entertain all four gals.”

More shots and more bottles of beer. Next thing I know Persimmon has me by the hand, dragging me out of Joe’s. We head to the Bear, but the line’s too long. Kellie’s gotta “go” real bad. We stop at Stormy’s, a Grateful Dead type hippie bar. While Kellie’s in the restroom, Persimmon and I do a shot of rum. Next stop, University Bar.

“Hey Tom, how about another shot?”

Yes, let’s.

Persimmon and I do a double-shot of the Captain (of course). Kellie doesn’t want hers, so I do two double shots of rum. Things are starting to get hazy. The bar’s closing so we go back to Persimmon’s place.

We hang out for a bit, smoking, drinking, playing dominoes and being silly. Persimmon is hammered and so am I. She goes to pass out, so Kellie and I go back to Kellie’s pad.

We talk about the usual stuff–politics and Hayward and life and shit. She soon gets tired and I start the long walk home. It’s 4 am.

As I walk I think how nice it is to be young and carefree. I look way down Ivy Street and see the cops with their red and yellow flashing lights in the middle of the street. I pass the Delta Chi corner and see two young people making out on the porch. I keep walking and look up at the sky, and see its millions of clear white bright stars sparkling on, and off. I look to the horizon and see that it’s starting to get a little light.

I’m going to miss this town.

Every time I go out I meet somebody new, and they’re always fun and cool. I think of all the friends I have, and how much I’m going to miss them.

Why am I leaving again?

Sometimes I just don’t know.