Exhibit A – The culprit, the menace, the scourge, The Captain

Who can resist the call of the Captain? The man in the picture below certainly cannot. See for yourself.

Exhibit B – The Mr. Janden B. Sullivan

Observe his eyes. Clearly, he has had plenty of the Captain this evening. His oversized claws grip the bottle. He is compelled to drink more. It transforms him. He takes a swig.

Exhibit C – The result

Yeah! He is overjoyed, is he not? See what rum does for you? Rum is what pirates drink. This man is now a pirate. In this photo he is yelling, “Arrrrr!!!”

Exhibit D – “Tough Love”

Yes, our subject truly loves his rum. Look at how tenderly he cradles his beloved, the object of his affection. Who can blame him? He loves his rum.

Let us take a look at some more satisfied customers.

Exhibit E – The Drunkards

Although the bottle of rum is not present in this photo, I can assure you it’s presence was felt. Scott, in the foreground, had a little too much rum this evening. Dave, in the background, has had too much beer and not enough rum. The glazed over look in their eyes is evidence enough, my friends.

Exhibit F – The Skillet

Look at this party animal. His system is clearly suffering from a lack of rum. See how tense he is? He looks as if he is about to burst! He is saying, “Rum please!” He needs rum, now.

So there you have it. A cavalcade of rum, and a parade of fun.

REMEMBER: Rum loves you and wants you to be happy.