I feel like it is my responsibility to share with you all the proper way to drink the first beer of the day. Now, I’ve been doing this for a long time so I feel like I am well qualified for the task. Let us begin, shall we?
Step 1.
You’ve had a long day at school or work. It’s hot outside, and you’re thirsty. Open the front door, but leave it open! This step is very important.
Step 2.
Go straight to the kitchen and open the refridgerator door. You must leave this door open as well. Do not skip this step.
Step 3.
Reach waaaaaaaaaay in the back of the fridge, where the coldest beers live. Grab one.
Step 4.
Stand there with the front door open and the fridge open. Crack open the beer. Extra points if it’s in a can. Double extra points if it’s a Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Step 5.
Drink the beer in three gulps. I know this might be difficult for some of you, but I assure you it can be done. Practice makes perfect!
Step 6.
Grab another beer and continue with your day.
So there you have it. If you follow these steps to success you too can be a professional. Just like me.
Tom, could you help me understand why leaving the front door open is so important to process. And can you close after you crack your second beer?
Of course Mr. Dom!
Leaving the front door open is important to the process because it signifies your commitment to that first beer. You cannot be bothered with closing doors behind you. You are focused. You are in the zone.
After the first beer is complete, it is perfectly fine to close all doors.
Good luck!
Thanks – I’m gonna shoot for 3 gulps today. I’ll let ya know. I had a sneaking suspician you’d answer that way. I want to completely versed in the process.
I need a damn edit button!