I’ve been reading ‘The Histories’ by the ancient Greek historian/geographer/anthropologist/botanist/everything, Herodotus. There are some really great stories, more than one made me smile. But one story in particular made me laugh out loud. I will share it with you now =)

There was a wealthy tyrant of Sicyon named Cleisthenes. He wanted to marry his daughter to “the best man in all Greece”. Among the suitors was a young man named Hippocleides, the wealthiest and best-looking man in Athens. For his parentage, conversation, manly qualities, temper, education, and manners–Hippocleides was the favorite.

When all the young men had been considered the time came for Cleisthenes to make his decision. He gave a great banquet, in which all the suitors and everyone in Sicyon was invited. When the dinner was over the suitors began to compete with one another in music and talking to company. In both these accomplishments Hippocleides was the clear winner. The tyrant of Sicyon was so pleased with Hippocleides he stood ready to proclaim him the winner.

Hippocleides by this time was suitably drunk. Wine after wine after wine he drank, and finally he demanded a flute player to play him a tune. Hippocleides began to dance vigorously. Cleisthenes was shocked, but allowed this to continue. Soon Hippocleides called for a table, which he climbed and danced upon. For his crowning achievement, Hippocleides stood on his head and gesticulated with his legs, keeping time to the music.

Cleisthenes was appalled and could bear this no longer. “You have danced away your marriage!” he cried.

To which Hippocleides replied, legs still gesticulating, “Hippocleides doesn’t care!”

hahahahahahahahahahahaha
oh man
oh i’m crying

I’ve been laughing for a good 20 minutes now.

I think this will become my new motto.