I think I hurt myself on Thursday night.

I wanted to get drunk. I had work to do and I just didn’t want to do it. I had tests to study for and I just didn’t want to study. I should have stayed home, but I didn’t.

I started off by going to Olive Garden and splitting a bottle of wine with Kellie. Then I went home and stared at my books for half an hour. I paced my apartment in a fury. “I don’t want to fucking study! I want to get drunk!” I kept saying. So I called Kellie and told her my plan.

We went straight to U-bar. I don’t know why I picked that one, I just did. I started off with a shot of Jager and a pint of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. We called Janden, who was supposed to be studying for two midterms (Janden will end up missing his first midterm Friday), and talked him into joining us. Peer pressure. What good friends we are.

While waiting for Janden I have another Jager and another pint. Then things start to get kinda hazy. I remember introducing Janden to a girl I just met at the bar while ordering another round. I remember switching from Sierra Nevada Pale Ale to Mad River Steelhead Pale Ale. I remember doing shots with Janden (Jager, of course). And the last thing I remember is playing pool on the L shaped table in the back. Then, blackout.

I woke up the next morning in a very dark room on the floor. I lifted my head and smacked it on the toilet bowl. I felt around. Yes, it was a toilet bowl. I propped myself up on my elbow and was struck with a wave of nausea the knocked me back down to the floor. I finally got up and found the door, and walked out into the hallway. I couldn’t find my shoes. OK I’m in Kellie’s apartment. The door is wide open, music is blaring, cigarette butts and beer cans are all over the apartment. I look at the clock–8:00am. My head is pounding. I still can’t find my shoes. Janden is passed out, Kellie is too. I go outside, and start walking home.

I made it down to the street corner and said fuck it. I sat down on the curb. The cool morning air felt good on my face. I was swaying, still drunk. I felt like laying down in the gutter there and going back to sleep. Water from somebody’s driveway was passing my feet, soaking my socks, on it’s way down the street towards the rain gutter. I looked down and watched the water swirl around my socks and thought of how cool it felt, and how nice it was.

I don’t know how long I sat there. It was Friday morning and people were going to school, going to work. Some little kids on BMX bikes rode by me and started laughing. I’m sure they were laughing at me. I have to admit, I thought it was kinda funny too. Here’s a (almost) 32 year old guy in jeans, t shirt, and socks sitting on the curb of the sidewalk at 8 o’clock in the fucking morning holding his head in his hands, he’s not wearing any shoes and his feet are in the dirty ass rushing water. I called a cab, went home, and slept until 3pm.

Then, last night The Silver Fox shows up. He talks me into going down to Joe’s for a few beers. I really, really do not feel like drinking. But I go anyway. We’re sitting at the bar, having beers, when Janden and Kellie show up. They procede to tell me everything that I did Thursday. Apparently I was introducing myself to random girls, then asking them “Have you met my friend Janden?” Then after introducing the two, I would leave and find the next girl to harass. Kellie says that Janden and I were in prime form. We were slapping her butt and laughing our asses off. At last call we had 2 shots of Jager each and she took drove us back to her apartment. That explains how I got there. Too bad I don’t remember ANY of this. Sounds like I had a good time.

Last time I blacked out I lost my truck for half the day. I ended up finding it later that evening. It took me a week to get over my hangover. And now it’s Sunday, and I still haven’t found my shoes.